justme asked:
I asked my sister to be my Matron of Honor. I knew financially she couldnt do anything because shes on welfare but I wanted to have her by my side as well as her daughter my niece as the flower girl. I told her not to worry I would cover all that would be necessary. As far as the dress, shoes, hair, makeup, accomodations and transportation. We live in California but we are having our wedding in Las Vegas. She said she would be happy to. And so I got her dress, shoes, a condo for 4 days 3 nights. I have also got everything my niece needs as well. The whole process has been painful. Everyday or every other day she tells me she cant be in the wedding and that neither can my niece. For financial reasons. So then I cover whatever it is and then shes back in. On Monday she called to find out about the gas money for the trip. We came up with $200.00 for the roundtrip. She said $250. Refused to give an explanation for the amount or they wont be in the wedding.My fiance wants her out of wedding
If i cut her out of the wedding Im going to lose her and my niece in my life. If I leave her in the wedding how much more is it going to cost or drain me emotionally. Ive spent tons on having them both in the wedding because I love them both. I feel like shes totally taking advantage of me and the situation. Shes bringing her husband for the trip and we will be paying to feed him for 4 days three nights as well but he isnt even coming to the wedding. Ive done everything i can.
afternoon wedding attire womens
I asked my sister to be my Matron of Honor. I knew financially she couldnt do anything because shes on welfare but I wanted to have her by my side as well as her daughter my niece as the flower girl. I told her not to worry I would cover all that would be necessary. As far as the dress, shoes, hair, makeup, accomodations and transportation. We live in California but we are having our wedding in Las Vegas. She said she would be happy to. And so I got her dress, shoes, a condo for 4 days 3 nights. I have also got everything my niece needs as well. The whole process has been painful. Everyday or every other day she tells me she cant be in the wedding and that neither can my niece. For financial reasons. So then I cover whatever it is and then shes back in. On Monday she called to find out about the gas money for the trip. We came up with $200.00 for the roundtrip. She said $250. Refused to give an explanation for the amount or they wont be in the wedding.My fiance wants her out of wedding
If i cut her out of the wedding Im going to lose her and my niece in my life. If I leave her in the wedding how much more is it going to cost or drain me emotionally. Ive spent tons on having them both in the wedding because I love them both. I feel like shes totally taking advantage of me and the situation. Shes bringing her husband for the trip and we will be paying to feed him for 4 days three nights as well but he isnt even coming to the wedding. Ive done everything i can.
afternoon wedding attire womens
Tags: Makeup, Wedding In Las Vegas, Welfare
What’s another 50.00 after all that you have already done? Not to mention that all that you have already done will be wasted money if you don’t give it to her. It’s almost over… keep your eye on the ball.
Well she is sure giving you a run for your money! She should be greatful to have such a wonderful sister as yourself. But if you kick her out of your wedding all that money you spent, will just be thrown away.
to me it does sound like she is taking advantage of your wonderful generosity. i would have given her a bus ticket to get out there to the wedding instead of keep forking over gas money. tell her that you can’t get any more money for her and that you have already paid for everything that is required for her to be there. if she says that she’s out then let her know that is her decision and not yours. let her know that if she doesn’t want anything to do with you cause you won’t support her that is her issue as well. you have done more than enough for her to get her and your niece there.
I think you should really just talk to her… tell her your concerns but in a subtle way. Just tell her how much it means to you to have her & your neice there but how much of a financial strain a wedding can be. As they say, honesty is the best policy. If she doesn’t understand where you’re coming from maybe she needs to take a long, hard look at herself.
I would say ok to the extra $50 but theres no way in hell Id be paying for her husband to go if he wont even attend the wedding. That is rude! Anyways, you are un a tough situation but you’ve gotten this far. You will be throwing away your money and relationship. You need to have a talk with her and tell her how important it is to you that she in the wedding but she cant keep doing this to you! Good luck and congrats!♥
Per your update….”If I have her out of the wedding, then she and my niece are out of my life forever.”
Newsflash baby girl.
SHE WAS NEVER IN YOUR LIFE TO BEGIN WITH!!!!!
(MATRON of honor? You mean this cheap, lazy so-n-so has a HUSBAND? And she’s still on WELFARE?)
Your sister is USING YOU. And has been for YEARS. SHE KNOWS you love her more than she will ever love you. I get the feeling she is jealous of you and resents that you have so much when she’s on welfare and can’t even afford to get her nails done. She is a lazy, good for nothing, whiny little LEECH who is taking you for everything you are willing to give. And will keep taking and taking and TAKING until you either quit giving or the well runs dry. And BLAME YOU for not taking her crap any more! Who needs that?
What she is doing to you has a name.
EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL.
I’m with your Fiance. The b**ch has to go. And good riddance to BAAAD rubbish.
Although, I do sympathize the loss of your niece. You’ll just have to find some creative ways to let the little one know that MOM won’t let her see you….
I know you love your sister and niece, but she is taking advantage of you. If she is giving you an ultimatum that either you come up with the extra $50 or she won’t be in the wedding…come on… she obviously is taking advantage of your generosity and love for her. If she is already on welfare…she is obviously not being much of a mother…I’d scrub toilets to make money to take care of my family as opposed to draining society…sorry but that’s what it is. She is taking advantage…tell her fine…if she can’t take the $200.00 then you’ll find another matron of honor…see how fast she takes the $200.00. Trust me…she’ll take it and she will be in your wedding. If not, her loss honey…I’d move heaven and earth to be in my sister’s wedding.
I understand that it is “only” another $50 plus whatever you have to spend on her husband. You are afraid to lose her.
The $250 might be right for the cost of gas. I spent $52 on a fill-up yesterday and I’m in the mid-west.
Spend what you have to, but know that you’ve lost your sister for her actions already have alienated your husband-to-be and fast approaching that for you.
Since you have lost her I assume you hope to keep your niece in your life.
Good luck and best wishes.
I’ll talk to her if i were you and its understandable that shes your sister, but what does her husband do for living and if hes coming but not going to wedding then why have him there at all. In my wedding I paid for everything for my niece and nephew not even asking my brother for anything my husband paid for my brothers tux but in return my brother and his 2 kids got together and repay us back with their love and other things such as babysitting, house work. My brother does have money but Ive told him that Im gonna pay cause its my weeding and this is what i wanna do. In your case talk to her and work with her somehow and have them to pay for their own gas and food. if u need anymore help e-mail me
buy a gas card and tell her that is all you can do. if she keeps on, then you need to pick her or your fiance, pick him.
I have a sis with financial issues, too. You can only take so many kicks in the rear from them before you cut ‘em off.
It sounds like this is extremely important to you so I would say give her the $250 ON A GAS CARD (see if she puts up a fight on that), tell her you can’t think of anything else they will need in order to attend the wedding since all else is paid for and that you are now strapped and cannot pay for anything else for them but you want her at your wedding.
After this is all over, don’t give her a dime. Stay in your niece’s life and treat her well.
It’s a really tough decision to make because your sister is obviously taking advantage of your generosity, and that is wrong. I know that you want your sister to be there, but it sounds like she is causing more stress than anything…and the matron of honor is not supposed to cause stress; she is supposed to help the bride destress.
You have already paid for a lot…here is what I would do. If she tries to squeeze any more money out of you and threatens not to come to the wedding, then call her out on her threats. Tell her you can’t afford to pay what she is asking and just flat out say no! She keeps telling you she won’t come to the wedding because you keep giving into what she wants. Stop giving in and see what happens.
I’m sorry to say this, but I have a sister like that and I **** to tell you this. She’s taking advantage.
DO NOT GIVE HER CASH! Send her a gas card, for one-way only. Give her the other half after the wedding. Some kind of addiction(gambling, shopping, drink or drugs) has got her spending, and she just got you as a lovely source of income. Welfare money can’t be spent on anything but food and housing, remember?
If she”s threatening to cut you of emotionally if you don’t give her money, that should tell you something. That is NOT the behavior of a Matron of Honor. Can you really rely on her to perform the duties of the office? I’d recommend finding a back-up MOH just in case. I feel for your niece. Keep an eye on her, will you?
Of course your fiancee wants her out. It is his job to protect you. Now if she was the only concern I’d suggest you cut her out and find another MOH approx the same size that could support you emotionally on your special day with out you financially supporting her. I have never been a fan of someone being guilted into enableing someone’s lazyness or what ever you sister’s issue is that keeps her on welfare.
BUT BUT BUT, your niece is involved here. You may be the only female rolemodel she has. Teach her by example how to be generous and gracious and loving and forgiving. Tell her often how extra special your day is because she is in it. The more bonding with her you do now, the easier it will be for you to infulance her to make wise and kind choices when she is older
If your sister loved you as much as you love her she would not use the threat of her and her daughter not being in your wedding to get you to do what she asks. That’s manipulative, and people who really love you and want to see you happy won’t attempt to manipulate you for their own gain.
Cut her loose. Tell her “no more.” It will hurt for a while, but after the hurt is gone you will realize that you made the right decision.
The money you’ve already spent? Consider money well spent if it means peace of mind for you and your future husband in the time between now and your wedding.
First of all, I’m sorry that this has happened to you. Your sister is doing a horrible thing to you and your fiance and should be ashamed of herself.
I think you and your fiance have offered more than enough help to your sister and her family in this case. She obviously sees that you have money and has no shame in taking it (just as she does welfare). This is the time to establish bounds for your sister and family. You are building a new life with your fiance and together you can be a strong successful couple if you work hard, communicate, and agree on how to deal with people like your sister or other family members who are opportunists and want to use you.
Your sister is a negative person and negativity has a way of spreading. In my experience, when I’m around negative people – negative things happen to me. When I’m around positive people, positive things happen to me. So, I would recommend that you stay clear of your sister so that she doesn’t spread her negative energy into your marriage.