TheDub asked:
My brother and his fiance got engaged which I was so happy for them. I found out that I was pregnant with our first child a few months ago, I was asked a few weeks earlier to be a bridesmaid. I have declined the offer now as I know that I will be very pregnant for their wedding. They have now told my family that they are going to have a big Las Vegas wedding ( which SHE wants). My brother would have been happy getting married on the beach here in British Columbia where it is just absolutely beautiful. I definitely respect the fact that she wants to have a big wedding with the white dress and all of that. The fact is though, my brother is not rich and neither is my family. She has a very low paying job which I know a lot of the expenses will fall on my poor brother who is already is a lot of debt from school. They are requesting everyone to fly down there and pay for their own expenses, no problem. My husband and I just don’t have the money to go so we will miss the wedding, also i will be over 7 months pregnant at the time and would really prefer not to fly out of the country. He is my only brother and I am so upset that I will not get to see him get married. My family is struggling to be able to pay their ways down there, and it is looking like they may not be able to go either. I kind of thought they may reconsider the Vegas wedding as none of us can go, but she is adminant on having it there. My brother has recently told us that he doesn’t care if we can make it or not, he wants to give her the huge, expensive wedding she has always dreamed of ( and can’t pay for). What are some of your thoughts on this? I respect the fact that it is their wedding and they can have it wherever they please, but since most of out family can’t go, wouldn’t you try to figure out another alternative? I am so sad!
Thank you everyone for your advice, it has really helped me become less stressed today. VERY Much appreciated!
Las Vegas formal wedding attire
My brother and his fiance got engaged which I was so happy for them. I found out that I was pregnant with our first child a few months ago, I was asked a few weeks earlier to be a bridesmaid. I have declined the offer now as I know that I will be very pregnant for their wedding. They have now told my family that they are going to have a big Las Vegas wedding ( which SHE wants). My brother would have been happy getting married on the beach here in British Columbia where it is just absolutely beautiful. I definitely respect the fact that she wants to have a big wedding with the white dress and all of that. The fact is though, my brother is not rich and neither is my family. She has a very low paying job which I know a lot of the expenses will fall on my poor brother who is already is a lot of debt from school. They are requesting everyone to fly down there and pay for their own expenses, no problem. My husband and I just don’t have the money to go so we will miss the wedding, also i will be over 7 months pregnant at the time and would really prefer not to fly out of the country. He is my only brother and I am so upset that I will not get to see him get married. My family is struggling to be able to pay their ways down there, and it is looking like they may not be able to go either. I kind of thought they may reconsider the Vegas wedding as none of us can go, but she is adminant on having it there. My brother has recently told us that he doesn’t care if we can make it or not, he wants to give her the huge, expensive wedding she has always dreamed of ( and can’t pay for). What are some of your thoughts on this? I respect the fact that it is their wedding and they can have it wherever they please, but since most of out family can’t go, wouldn’t you try to figure out another alternative? I am so sad!
Thank you everyone for your advice, it has really helped me become less stressed today. VERY Much appreciated!
Las Vegas formal wedding attire
Tags: Bridesmaid, Las Vegas, Sad
Well, my first thought is that people are going to do foolish things with their money, regardless of how many people try to give them wisdom to the contrary. So, that being said, don’t get offended if they don’t listen. I’ve seen people take out home equity lines to finance weddings … crazy!!
Second thought is that in the end, this girl might be upset by the fact that no one is attending her wedding. Then again, she sounds selfish enough that she doesn’t care.
Third thought is that your brother is leaving behind all sensibility in order to cater to this girl’s wishes, but you have to respect whatever choice you make.
Fourth thought is that you are absolutely right: being pregnant and flying (I’d be surprised if your doc gives you the okay anyway, at 7 months and leaving the country) and spending money you don’t have isn’t prudent. Sometimes there are sticky situations with weddings, and we have to grin and bear them.
For one.. at least here in the united states Vegas is a very cheap and tacky place to get married. People usually get married in vegas are eloping. So its not going to be the big expensive wedding that your invisioning.
I agree with you! I think that if none of the grooms family can make it then they need to make other arrangements. I am having a destination wedding, but everyone can afford to make it, besides my sister, and I have chosen to pay for her way because it is important to me that she is there.
With that said, Unfortunately if they are both stuck on this idea then there is not much you can do. They are both being selfish. Maybe try to talk to your brother or your future sister in law and tell them that they can have a big beautiful wedding near home, that way all of your family will be there. Plus how is it going to be a big beautiful wedding if your loved ones are not there? Part of the beauty of a wedding day is enjoying the happiest day of your life with your friends family and loved ones! I hope this helped and I really hope that they reconcider their wedding plans!!
She is being inconsiderate to him and his family. Why can’t they have a ” huge ” wedding at home and have their honeymoon in Las Vegas? I wouldn’d want to be married if my family can’t be there, He will regreat it some day if he goes through with this. And If she won’t budge on this, what else will she demand in their marriage?
Honestly…Id say ***** ‘um. Its obvious your brothers main concern is to make sure his bride is happy. Whatever it takes. I don’t blame him. But I don’t understand his complete disregard for HIS family. But your soon to be sis in law seems to be a bit selfish. She obviously doesn’t care about whether or not you guys attend, which is sad.
I stick to my intial thing…screw um. They’ve made their decision. What can you do but go on with your life and wish them the best?
Hi there,
I am another BC’er here =) We are having a wedding in Banff. Although its convenient for my family, it is not for his (everyone has to fly up from different parts of the USA). We are marrying in Banff because it’s what I would like to do, and my fiance agrees with that (although he’s indifferent to the place- he knows its what I wanted before, so part of me knows he’s doing it to please me).
When his family found out, we got a lot of “oh….. we thought the wedding would be in ____ (closer city to them, where he’s from). This is even after we’d been dating for quite some time and they knew from word of mouth from him that if there were to be a wedding, it would probably be up here.
A lot of people have turned us down because they can’t afford it and I am getting the same type of “vibe” as you describe.
Honestly, initially I was a bit upset but at the end of the day I can’t please everyone. If I were to move it down there, my family couldn’t come. There are no “neutral” locations because everyone is so spread out. It really ***** that you won’t be able to be there for your brothers wedding and don’t think that he doesn’t consider you because he does. Its just hard to plan your wedding around other people’s lives (for example, my sister didn’t want it in the US because her husband can’t cross the border…. the list goes on and on). Everyone wants you to consider them, but at the end of the day, you just have to do whats right for the two of you- and I’m sorry that hurts you, because its not intended to be personal.
On the upside, flights to vegas now are really dirt cheap from here- you can get all inclusive packages for a weekend for around $300-400max pp. Check out flightcenter.ca
Enjoy the beautiful day! And remember he didn’t mean to have it this way.